Clearly Malfunctioning in Many Important Regards

Makeup Exam
We're probably supposed to be "taking turns" or something quaint, as far as post initiation goes, but that plan worked like the welfare system from the get-go, since you never post anything ever. So listen: All your junk about how girls should not wear makeup is dumb. I am very pretty au naturel, but the fun-funtimes of makeup lets me be differently pretty whenever I want, thus lending exciting variety to my life. Ladies who "need" makeup are dumb, but that's because of the verb, not the noun--any addiction looks as stupid as grandpas attempting Playstation, period. Nonetheless, your privileged, weird hating on 'smetics really rattles my cage. In closing, I submit the example of the '50s-rockabilly-styley Latinas at the V Room, because their flaming red vinyley lips are hott, and I would do them. Thank you.
[4:49pm pst]
Now you're just baiting me. But I like bait, so okay. I don't hate makeup. In the Fear Not Guide to Life entry on makeup, I wrote "I'm glad certain girls wear makeup, because it's a great way to spot someone I never want to talk to." This is a dramatic overstatement for comedic effect, but at root it reflects how I feel about certain kinds of makeup usage. I understand that every American girl (except extremist hippies or non-lipstick lesbians) wears some makeup every day. The interesting continuum for me is the visibility axis, which is maybe best personified as the range between Isabella Rossellini and Tammy Fae Bakker. If IR is 0 and TFB is 10, then I begin to get uncomfortable with your makeup around 3.5 and I turn and run at 6. I should never see particles of powder on anyone's face. And unless it's the weekend I should not see eyeshadow. You can wear it, but if I can see it from across the room, it's gone too far.
     Of course this and all other advice found in the FNGL is targeted at a very specific group of people: people who want to be my friends. A small group, I'm sure. But anybody who has no interest in my friendship (or my amorous attentions) should feel free to flout any or all of the advice contained in that persnickety publication. Like the quote above illustrates, makeup serves the invaluable function of culling a huge percentage of the population from my radar screen. Nobody should change what they do in terms of makeup unless they are tacky trash looking to ascend the social ladder to the dizzy rung on which I perch. Good luck -- it's a tough climb, and a nasty fall back down.
[4:05pm est]
trouble started by claude le monde
November 16, 2004 • 7:48 PM est • #

Comments from Foolish Amateurs:

Wow, this is awesome. I am SO glad to see others actually articulating the fact that girls SHOULD NOT WEAR MAKEUP. Period. They look like idiots. What guy wants to kiss some slimy red grease? What guy wants to get yucky, greasy CRAP all over his face and clothes? None that I know ... Fact is, made up girls/women look like clowns and are pathetically disgusting. They themselves are the only ones who think they look beautful, because the truth is they look revolting. If you use make up, and it can be seen from six inches away, it's too much. Wash your faces already.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 8:39 PM est  


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