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Well, I don't want to seem like I'm ignoring the election or the 'everything is fucked'ness of the US right now or whatever, but--Wait, yes, I do. As one raised Irish Catholic, I value resignation, endurance, and alcoholism; I say we bite the stupid bullet and quit blogging about Bush. Oh, I know, are you gonna be all "But I'm blogging about Karl Rove!"? No: shut up. It's preaching to the choir, people (half of them a basement-dwelling, someday-touching-a-real-live-boobie-hoping, twelve-sided-dice-collecting choir. Do you have orange carpet stuck on your walls? Then I am talking to you). Has anyone EVER changed their political affinities after reading a blog? Have you EVER been like "Man, I was really against stem-cell research until I read some dubiously-backed anecdote at www.conspiracy-hos.com, and now I am all about it?" No, no way. There are enough actual political blogs around without CaptainDarkness_x89--or whatever your retarded LJ name is--taking up my time with this crap. Why don't you print your stats, roll them into a conical scroll, and introduce them into your ass.
Hey, have you spent the past month regaling me with near-daily opinion pieces and statistical breakdowns 'bout the election that rival the most extreme of all Fantasy Football leagues in complexity and total stupid pointlessness? Have you also undertaken a study of other energy-expending Things I Don't Care About (carb counts; interior options for the 2005 Lincoln Navigator; life cycle of the marijuana plant) purely to waste my time? My scrolly-finger hurts from blowing past countless (and, might I add, selfishly, soapboxily NON-condensed or LJ-cut) journal entries that are crying me a Timberlake of boo-de-hoos about recounts, what shade of mauve Nebrasky was, etc. Face it, dudes. You can stew in the bitter unfairness of the Ohio miscounts and general Republi-chicanery until the genetically-modified cows scuttle home, and it's not going to make a fucklick of difference--just like how it is pointless for you to sit around cursing the prettiniess of my pretty, pretty face. We call it A FACT. Get your hands off your dicks and do something else. Make an anti-Bush stencil and evade the cops! You know: send money to the gays! Get the goddamned mascara wands out of the bunnies' eyeball and would SOMEONE, for the love of a casual Jesus, knock that guy with the "looky this goopy fetus!" poster off the La Tijera overpass already? I'm fucking OVER IT! FUCK! FUCK!!!
I have cultivated an air of "wildly impractical" my whole goddamned life, but while I'm sitting on my ass waiting for my pegacorn to show up, laden with knitted crafts and a rainbow of Dilaudid that's almost as pretty as me, I'd rather be giving a shit about something I could actually affect. Like, how 'bout instead of trolling the Canadian version of Salon.com for retardo exit poll data, you make a motherfucking poster, you impotent, statsmongering blogfarts? Put down the pie charts done in natty teal and fuchsia, and volunteer at a shelter or something! And keep blowing hoboes! It's what makes America great! Thanks! LYLAS! In conclusion: I AM PRETTY!!
edited to add: Obvs. if you're out there doing something, then more power to you. I'm raging mostly against this hushy-hushy, note-passing recount hoo-ha. Whether or not Kerry legally or numerically won the election makes no difference. Bush isn't going to concede the presidency. I say let's accept that conditions are as they stand, stay pissed if we must, and then move forward, not wallow in a retroactive world where we can travel around in a phone booth changing things. Sheesh.
[3:54pm pst]
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Your scrolly-finger hurts? You have a delete button. I too have received a lot of post-election email about how fucked up everything is, but I don't think it's all as useless as you say. (I also happen to believe the hype about the election being stolen again, albeit more masterfully this time, and I therefore believe that spreading the word is a mitzvah in itself, truth for truth's sake, etc, and also there are people who haven't read all the facts and might be interested and it's the responsibility of those who have the facts to pass them on.) Some people make posters, some people make donations, but some people make emails, and I'm pretty sure that the example of MoveOn's fundraising success proves that email is not 100% ineffective. Without email, there is no MoveOn. Sure, I can hear you saying "oh and look how effective MoveOn ended up: all hail President Dean!" But that's not the point and you know it.
[11:35am est]
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If you're going to use MoveOn.org as your example, then we have to make the analogue that their stated goal of building electronic advocacy groups with which to effect real-world change is a real, achievable goal, and they have a dedicated team whose purpose it is to take their work and make something of it--take it somewhere--turn the signatures and the cash into tangible product. The folks I am hating on are largely the dudes who are, you know, limited to spreading inaccurate rumour and, at most, being all "We have to have an Ohio recount! We simply must! [stomps foot]": a goal that is as wildly impractical and ain't-gonna-happen as my suddenly fitting into a pair of size-two pants. I'm hardly some kind of CompuNet-hating Luddite--in fact, I increasingly live more and more in the virtual world (and let's remember, kids, how the very definition of 'virtual' is 'almost, but not really at all,' kind of like the Virtual Hotdog I will eat later tonight, at the Champagne Necktie party, but that's something else entirely). What was I saying? Oh, yes: Onlineness. People need to remember that the internet is a facet of the real world, and a powerful medium, but that it doesn't suffice to live entirely on the web, and the bullshit I am talking about is the LiveJournal equivalent of the e-mail forwards you get from your mom about "every time this e-mail gets forwarded, Little Jessica gets 5ยข for healing her open lesions" or whatever. Talking about politics, hoaxes, fraud, WHATEVER online: that's a means. It's not an end.
I think that's what it is, really: I know my first post was crazily over-generalized, and you have to give me some credit for its florid fervence, but I say: Push things forward. Let's move into the future. And if you see someone wearing a Bush/Cheney button standing on the dock at the Naples marina, by all means, shove them forcefully into the canal, to leave a message that is strong and lasting. Not that that's what I did, or anything, Mr. Secret Service Agent.
[12:00pm pst]
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trouble started by claude le monde
November 09, 2004
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5:12 PM est •
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Guess what, Ohio recount IS happening as intitiated by the GLIBS facilitated by the grassroots efforts. They raised the money and the recount is a-go. Public hearings are being held throughtout Ohio to address voter suppression and electoral fraud. Legal challenges to Blackwell's post hoc blatantly illegal change in the regulations for counting provisional votes are initiated. Whatever happens with Kerry this can and will set precedent so that they can't Diebold the next election and the election after that and will do away with Bush's freaking Mandate.
# posted by : 3:44 PM est
erm, that was me, V.
# posted by : 3:45 PM est
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