Clearly Malfunctioning in Many Important Regards

Claw Tries to Get Jer's Attention on the GoogChatter
Sent at 2:35 PM on Monday
claudia: JERMS
claudia: JERMANY
claudia: JERBIL
claudia: JERRYMANDER
claudia: LOS ANGELES DODJER

Sent at 2:55 PM on Monday
claudia: JERALD R. FORD

Sent at 3:07 PM on Monday
claudia: DIDJERIDOO

Sent at 3:36 PM on Monday
claudia: JERONIMO

Sent at 3:51 PM on Monday
claudia: JERELICTE

Sent at 3:55 PM on Monday
claudia: JERMIONE GRANJER

Sent at 4:23 PM on Monday
claudia: JERMAN OF THE BOARD
[TIME 01:05 est]
trouble started by Universal Donor
January 16, 2007 • 12:43 AM est • #

Comments from Foolish Amateurs:

Jer.
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 1:46 PM est  


Jer.
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 9:51 PM est  


Jer.
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 3:33 PM est  


Hey. Jer.
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 8:01 PM est  


Jer!
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 2:15 PM est  


Jerrrrr!
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 5:34 PM est  


Jeremy!
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 10:12 AM est  


Dude! Jer! I am talking to you!
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 2:24 PM est  


Jeremy Claymore Broomfield!
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 12:47 PM est  


Hey there! Hi, Jer! Hi there, high chair!
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 12:41 PM est  


JerJerJerJerJaaayyyyuurrrrJerJerJerJer
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 9:58 AM est  


Jeremy Whoopistle Broomfield!
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 5:00 PM est  


yeremy yeremy yeremy yeremy yeremy yeremy remyer yeremy yeremy yeremy yeremy yeremy yeremy yeremy yeremy yeremy
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 5:36 PM est  


Jer.
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 3:39 PM est  


Jer!
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 11:21 AM est  


Jer!
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 11:21 AM est  


JERemy.
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 12:32 PM est  


Jer! Jer! Jer! Jer! Jer! Jer! Where? Jer! Jer! Jer! Jer! Jer! Jer!
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 11:52 AM est  


Jeremoo?
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 9:38 PM est  


Jereboo?
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 1:23 PM est  


Jerefoo?
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 2:24 PM est  


I missed a day. NOW who's not updating regularly, hmmmm? Jer?
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 3:36 PM est  


Jerome E. Blumfeld!
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 9:52 AM est  


Jeremy ""Jeremy Broomfield" Broomfield?
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 11:43 AM est  


It's been a year since this turned into an advice column, yeah?

Dear Dr. Donor,

I am bored.

Sincerely,
Laurabelle

# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 9:56 AM est  


Dear Presidente Le Monde,

I don't feel too good, either.

Unnecessarily,
Laurabelle
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 12:55 PM est  


Jeremy Brushaby* Broomfield!

My great-great-grandfather's name was Brushaby. I tried to get my brother to name his firstborn "Brushaby Brushabee" but no dice. At least they went for Tallulah as a middle name. True story.
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 12:30 PM est  


Oh, Sugarlump. Life is hard. Good, I'll grant you, but hard.

(No, no, she said, "Good and hard.")
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 5:56 PM est  


Jermoodle Broomfoodle?
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 4:09 PM est  


Vampires are stupid.
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 11:50 AM est  


You are not stupid.
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 11:33 PM est  


ERGO you are not a vampire.

'Smath.
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 9:25 PM est  


All comments and no posts make Laurabelle a dull girl. All comments and no posts make Laurabelle a dull girl. All comments and no posts make Laurabelle a dull girl. All comments and no posts make Laurabelle a dull girl. All comments and no posts make Laurabelle a dull girl. All comments and no posts make Laurabelle a dull girl. All comments and no posts make Laurabelle a dull girl. All comments and no posts make Laurabelle a dull girl. All comments and no posts make Laurabelle a dull girl.
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 2:45 PM est  


Oh, Jer. I am thisclose to ceasing to care. Your determination not the update UD V. CLM is beating down my determination to pestering soul.
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 9:36 PM est  


awesome.
# posted by Blogger claudia : 4:19 PM est  


He's never ever going to read this, is he, Claude?

Please to note: I have given up. Awesomeness on the inside only!
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 10:05 PM est  


Resneak reattack. Never say die!
jerjerjerjerjerjerjerjerjerjerjerjerjerjerjerjerjerjerjerjerjerjerjerjerjerjerjeryourearsareburningjerjerjerjerjerjerjerjerjerjerjerjerjer
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 7:41 PM est  


8 September 2007

Dear Diary,

Who Jer no update? Even Claude no update. So sad.

Try again tomorrow.
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 3:30 PM est  


but vampires are hot & sexy, everyone knows this. are vampires native to LA?
# posted by Blogger claudia : 5:37 PM est  


Things are native to LA? Like dust and anorexia?

Bite a vampire before he or she bites you, amnd maybe you'll redead the undead. Prebitten, twice shy, yo.
Claudia, Claudia,
How I applaud ya,
Claudia the Vaaaaampire Biter.

# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 7:12 PM est  


Dear Drs. Broomfield and Le Monde,

I read UDvCLM all the time but have never had a reason to write. My problem is this: I have a vampire in the basement with the mice. I left a line of baking soda across the doorway, but it still got out and bit my son. Any tips on how to keep it in the basement-- or better yet, how to get rid of it?

Thanks,
Laurabelle
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 7:03 PM est  


Which came first, the chicken or the update?
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 6:52 PM est  


Line at the bottom: I am so bored.

Back to the hasslin'! Someone contribute meaningfully to the (sub)site!
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 10:11 PM est  


yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaah. see, baking soda acts like meth to a vampire (they ARE native to LA--any white lines [PURE AS DRIVEN SNOW!] they're going to stuff straightaway up their undead nostrils). your best choice is to put the vampire back in the basement and get way, way, way more mice down there.

-claudia (blogger is a whore)
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 7:52 PM est  


yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaah. see, baking soda acts like meth to a vampire (they ARE native to LA--any white lines [PURE AS DRIVEN SNOW!] they're going to stuff straightaway up their undead nostrils). your best choice is to put the vampire back in the basement and get way, way, way more mice down there.
# posted by Anonymous claudia : 7:53 PM est  


Hey. Hey, Claudia.
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 9:50 PM est  


Hey, Claudia. Hey.
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 10:11 PM est  


Hey, will the vampires biteybite the micies and make a vampmouse or two? Hey?
# posted by Anonymous Laurabelle : 10:37 PM est  


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